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This is the second part of “Taming the Guest Size”. I am pretty sure some of you had a few laughs and a few gasps in part one of this post. So I am just going to dive right in.
I met a couple last year, whom just before they got married we got talking about the Nigerian Guest Size Factor. They both come from LARGE families who like to “PARR-TAI”. Of course, with large families like that theirs, they will always have crowds at any of their functions. I asked casually how they both intended on controlling their family crowd, they told me they had threatened both their parents that if the guest size went above 400 they would just not show up on the day! Go #Teambride & groom *Yimu*. ROTFL!! Is it Schweppes?
However, despite my scepticism, they meticulously had a guest list of all invited guests on stylishly numbered invitation cards, so that as you came to the reception with your invitation cards, your invites would be checked with its number and then you were allowed to go through. Of course, they had hired the help of well and able bodied “Giant Bouncers”. I felt like an ant beside those guys, lol! This couple meant business in “Taming the Guest Size,” o. Lol! #onpoint
Strictly by invite, invitations make things a lot easier in managing guest size control. Yet, I did meet an odd fellow earlier this year, who loathes the idea of “strictly by invitation” invites. He said if he ever got an invite that was strictly by invitation that he wouldn’t attended that event.
Why you ask. His reason is that, strictly by invite invitations are snobbish, stuck-up, and it looked down on people. He also believed that they were outright rude…, your facial expression is (or was) the same as mine, I mean, “What the…”
Now, this very same male individual that very same day, told me of his aunt’s funeral 3 years ago in Ondo state, and how he was so impressed with the turn out, it showed that his aunt, was a good woman and very popular. I asked what the guest size was, he replied saying about 2500 people. He said the food wasn’t enough and he remembers people coming up to him after the event complaining. I forgot to mention, he was saying all this with a chest full of pride. This funeral “owambé” created heavy traffic and caused a lot of unhappy resident’s peace and quiet for 2 days!
Did I mention that the family went broke after the “semi-carnival” occurred? ROTFL! Yep they did, he said so.
This raises a question, who is to blame when the invited guests seem to keep giving birth to more guests during an event, making crowd control difficult to manage?
No need to Google it, the answer is simple, The Event Planners are to blame! That right, we swallow the criticism, complaints, insults, and screams from the client’s for ruining their day, cause of the lack of crowd control. Yes, sometimes we planners can get over our heads with some jobs or client’s, nevertheless we still swallow it all despite everything. Let me give you an example via an experience as a guest.
A few weeks ago I attended my sister’s friend’s wedding. I arrived late, as I had intended, and I noticed my sister hustling with plates of food serving some guests. I walked up to her and asked what is going on? Where are the waiters? She told me the caterer didn’t bring enough waiters, thus her helping to serve. I asked what about the planner/coordinator, because I knew her friend had hired one. My sister pointed her out over a sea of gele’s at a food station. When I asked her how I could help, she said, “Could you ask the guests to stop arriving? This is more than 500 people she had expected, from the 300 guests she was told would arrive.” Oh dear.
Honestly, the stories and testimonies can go on forever! I am in the opinion that prospective clients should always keep their events planners/coordinators constantly informed of their decreasing or increasing guest sizes. It’s irresponsible of any client to cater and state to their events planner that they have invited 200 people, and then have a whopping guest size of 800 people !? C’mon…that’s unfair. It makes us events professionals look foolish and incompetent.
Tips to consider on Taming the Guest Size
This advice is for EVERYONE involved in the event, both parents, both families, and the intended couple to be:
1. Don’t invite the WHOLE office or neighbourhood. Inviting the whole neighbourhood or the office is not only seemingly desperate but also award, especially if you don’t really have a cordial speaking relationship with any of them.
2. Don not go inviting all 4,567 friends on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, BBM, Whatsapp, 2Go, Instagram, LinkedIn, or any other social network is a BIG NO. Ask yourself, how many times you have actually communicated with any of them outside of the social network before you invite them.
3. Induce an invitation scarcity! Make all your invites almost 65% less than your expected guests. Don’t be discouraged by having strictly by invitation invites. Just understand why you want them and be able to explain to those who don’t agree with the idea why you want them.
4. Rein in your parents! Yeah…this is a hard one. Most parents, both home and abroad, believe that since they are the ones footing the bill for the entire wedding, that have the right to invite the whole world. Sadly, they do. That right is theirs. However, there is a way around it. Sit both parents down and present a plan to them. When I was younger, when I had to ask my dad for money for anything, I had to write down what I wanted, and have acceptable prepared answers or reasons as to why I wanted those things. I believe every parent can be reasonable once you and your partner have presented them your vision of how you want your wedding should be, and long after the celebrations. Remember to compromise when and where you have to ooh! If they prove difficult, better get on your knees and plead with them fervently!
5. Elope! ROTFL! Just joking. However, consider having a destination wedding instead. Read my post on “Marrying Far Away”, it may just be perfect for you. A friend of mine in Ghana read that post and sent the link to his mum, and his fiance, telling them that they should both begin to adjust their minds to it. LOL!
Wow. This post turned out to be longer than I had hoped. Hehehe. So this is where I will end it for now, and touch on it later in the future. If you have had any experiences you’d like to share feel free to leave a comment or send an email with your stories to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Enjoy ♥ J!
How are you all doing? Good I believe. Whatever way it is I Celebrate You!
Any English literature student wouldn’t think twice as to who, when, what, and where my post title came from. Well, I am certain that the famous William Shakespeare play, “Taming The Shrew”, has no relations to this post, but I am hopeful a little link may be derived. Loll!
This topic says a lot, and it has been a festering peeve in my mind since the day I ventured into the world of events. However, I do strongly advice readers the sensitivity of this post, so I beg of you, to please read with an open mind and with ultra-super shock absorbing caution. Loll! :D. Also there may not be any pictures put up in this to stimulate the urge to carry on reading.
I asked a few close colleagues in events, what their opinions were about having a large crowd at events they had attended or managed. 3 out of 5 had quite a lot to complain about, 1 said she was indifferent and the other person said she rather enjoys it (odd).
In this harsh economy crisis worldwide, where everyone is tightening their spending purse, and taking to account of every last N 1.00, whilst singing constantly to everyone’s hearing, “there’s no money oooo!” Why are there still Nigerians, having colossal, enormous, and gargantuan, proportions of at their events? They usually range from 1000 to 2500 and above. The main culprits are usually the singers of “there’s no money oooo!” Here are some of the experiences from friends in the events industry I had spoken to.
**Theirs names, venues, and places have been changed for strictest confidentiality.
“Jumoke, it was the next thing to a horror movie, true! The annoying things is that we planners get blamed for the clients’ atrocities.”
Meet **Jaime. Jaime had a client who had set everything for guest size of 500 people. The bride and groom made a exigency plan for an extra 150 people, should in case their guest size expanded. However, the couple got MORE than they had bargained for. Jaime said she was in the restroom at the venue, to freshen up after ensuring the venue was set for the arrival of guests.
“Jumoke, which was how one of my assistants burst into the restroom saying, ‘J the community has arrived!’”
Jaime said, she was confused, and went out to see and understand what her assistant was fretting about.
“Jumoke that was when I saw two 18 seater buses filled with women and a few men, all clad in bright red geles, red double wrappers and white puffed armed blouses, chatting loudly and bouncing into the venue.”
Jamie said that by the time the bride and groom had arrived from the church, not only where there no more seats inside the venue, there were crowds of people were hovering outside at the foyer and the main entrance. Food, drinks, sweets, and all edibles had exhausted. Even contingency backups were gone in a hearts’ beat. Trusting Nigerians, a small squabble had begun at the food stations. Jaime said her main concern where the couple, their parents, and the couple’s friends, and they were all fine.
Jamie and her assistant did a guest size estimation and realized that there were approximately over a 1000 plus guests, as opposed to the 500 to 650 people the couple had prepared for.
My sympathies to Jamie. Let me give my own personal experience with dealing with “unplanned and not informed” large guest sizes.
I coordinated an event for one my mum’s close friend some time ago. I have known this aunty since when lost my front teeth as a kid. I was told my aunt that it was going to be a wedding reception for 1000 people. The venue was quite tight, in terms of table setup for 1000 guests, inclusive of food stations and desserts station in the venue. I found out that the hall is meant to seat only 800 people, banquet style, comfortably.
As you can imagine and guess rightly, the venue was filled to OVER CAPACITY! Mind you, while I was being harassed by disconcerted, flustered, rude, insolent and annoyed guests, to find seats for them, the venue manger called me aside and informed that their last reserve of standby 1000 chairs and 100 tables are all in the venue, and I should please kindly inform people that there were no more seats. Aka, NO MOR SHEIR AND TEBU!
Can you imagine that? Here’s an interesting conversation I overheard with the bride and a friend in tête-à-tête while I was dismantling the wedding cake after the reception.
Her friend: “Your people plenty o.”
The bride: (bride laughs) “I don’t even know three quarter of the people here!”
An event planner friend of mine told me this “Nightmare on Elms Street” house of horror wedding (all in her words), she “supposedly” “tried” to plan and coordinate a while ago.
Event Planner’s Code Name: 009 **Jane Buns (ROTFL!!!):-D
Jane Buns said that the bride came to her on recommendation from a friend in the UK. The bride was based in the Canada, however both parents of the couple are here in Nigeria. The brides’ parent are in Lagos and the groom’s parents in Ibadan, Oyo state. Jane said when she first met the bride, she was all smiles and teeth, seemingly naïve yet funny, and stingy. I told Jane that smiles, teeth, and stinginess should have set off red flags. Her problem with this bride was that the family were not up front about their budget and financial constraints for the wedding preparations, which made planning difficult and boiling point annoying (as Jane said).
The brides mum had insisted fervently on having a guest size of 1000 people and also having a venue on The Island to accommodate the expected guest size. All these proposed on the most minuscule budget ever. Another Red Flag. Though the bride and groom had initially asked for the wedding to take place at their place of residence, Canada, the bride’s mother disagreed to this plan. So, the couple opted for Lagos, and asked for a guest size of 500 people, because the groom made it known that his extended family and friends were not up to 200 and were not the party type. Again, that was disapproved by the bride’s mother.
Jane said what really rattled her chains was that after she had successfully solicited and haggled with 2 prominent venues on the Island for the traditional ceremony and the white wedding reception, at almost near redundant ridiculous prices, the expected 1000 people guest from the bride’s mother did not match up!
“Jumoke, enraged cannot describe how I felt at the events!” not only was the groom correct about his small nonparty animal family, the bride’s invited guests were less than 300 on the day of the traditional ceremony, and less that 500 on the day of the white wedding reception.
She said it so bad that, for the traditional wedding, once the all formalities and the ceremony was over the groom’s family left. Once they left the whole place became void, only handful of the bride’s family and friends were present. For the white wedding reception, Jane said that the hall seating arrangement was split into two, groom’s side and the bride’s side. 5 tables on each side of the hall were removed to accommodate the caterers and make shift for tables and chairs that didn’t have table cloths and chair covers on them. Yet, the groom’s side only occupied about 15 to 20 tables on their on side. Jane then describe hall as ridiculous because the groom’s family were placed at the entrance, so if you were a guest, you would enter and notice that half of the hall was scanty while the other side was just as sparsely populated also. Hmmm…
I don’t want this topic to drag on, so I will; end it here, and continue in part two of taming the guest size.
Enjoy! ♥ J!
“Once upon a time, set ontop of the hills of the Hobbits Shire far far away, was a wedding ceremony…”
Hola mi amigos!¿ 😀
How was your weekend? C’mon, i had you confused for a second. Lol! I will be putting up two posts. I had noticed a particular colour trend for almost 3 months and I finally decided to do a post on it. The colour is Mint Green. Yep, that is the trending colour for this summer. Remember the Pantone® colour for 2013 is Emerald Green, so we are still in line. However, I diagress. This week’s post is for my brides who are on tight and heavily guarded budget. Lol! I bring to you, (drum roll, and trumpets sound)…Destination Wedding!
Until recently, anytime I had heard someone mention destination wedding, my first thought was, the person most be seriously loaded. Biased thinking right? Se la vie. 😉
I have a friend who had mentioned to me a while ago that she wanted to have a destination wedding. I asked why, and she said to avoid the hassle of unknown guests and family members and most of all to cut costs. I laughed, however I am seeing her point. I read an article online from a Nigeria couple who had a destination wedding in the South of France (no it was not Stephanie Okereke and Linus Idahosa’s wedding), and it changed my point of view about DW’s. So, in this post, I am going to re-highlight the points and add my own reasoning logic for you to embrace the idea of DW’s.
Some of you may ask the large invisible white elephant question, isn’t it expensive? Well, here is answer I believe any professional planner would say to satisfy any sceptics, “…If well planned, it will end up being less expensive, because you will make plans for what you need and only those you have budgeted for…”. I can not stress this enough to both my clients and friends who complain about them being on a tight budget, CUT DOWN ON YOUR GUEST SIZE!
Luckily, this is one of the many advantages of DW’s, it helps with downsizing your guests, and both you and your groom can careful pick guests that are of significance nd importance. With this, you won’t have the usual “mo gbo mo branch” crowd that show up uninvited to your wedding, this includes unknown and uninvited family members, the village community counsel of elders/chieves, either parents church/nasfat group/club members, who all end up coming with their own “supporters club,” or the displacement of the bridal party and the couples friends/colleagues from their reserved seating (another blog post for another day, hehehe), and let’s not forget the usual yet embarrassing hulla-ba-loo for wedding souvenirs. Oi!
Advantages of a Destination Wedding
1. They’re Virtually Stress-Free. How?
Hotels, Resorts and Sea Cruise lines around the world normally have full-time wedding coordinators on staff, who are also familiar with that particular country’s marriage license requirements. If you’re not getting married at a resort, you can hire a wedding planner in that locale who specializes in destination weddings, or you could contact your own wedding planner to start early planning arrangements with your travel agent and the hotel’s in-house wedding planner.
2. Family Drama Denied!
All forms scene-stealing family drama will be avoided. This includes a very large get-together of extended families and various business associates. Predictably, each set of parents have their own ideas. One set would like the wedding to be held in a prominent part of the city or location of residence because most of their guests, or social circle are residents in the area. This would a great avenue for them to show off to their friends and business associates. On the other hand, the other set of parents may have problems with the expense of a high society, over elaborate, typical Nigerian wedding. Most of the time, the parents tend to forget that the event is, first and foremost, about the two people getting married! This usually occurs when a certain family seems more financially buoyant than the other then they want to take control and make all the decisions, paying no attention to what the couple desire for their wedding. With a destination wedding, you the couple are in charge and you set the rules to your desires in your own chosen terrority. A bride commented on DW’s saying “…it would be nice to have both parent’s anecdotes families in good rapport, but what’s the point if they fight and snigger over trivial things about the our wedding?” – from The Knot.
3. Pay Less, Stress Less for Fun!
“The affordability of a destination wedding has many couples speeding off to the airport faster than you can say ‘I do.’ For instance, a couple can fly to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, get married, and stay for a deluxe weeklong honeymoon for a few thousand dollars, including lodging, meals, drinks, and airfare.” – from The Knot.
PS>> I did a small calculation of the figures they give in the article and then i converted it to naira for you to understand it better. An example; a wedding of 150 guests wedding may (emphasis on the word MAY. I didn’t say it WILL, I said MAY) cost about
N 3.7m to which it can easily skyrocket to more than N 6.5m if your guest size increases — plus a few extra hundred thousands of Naira for a honeymoon. Do a comparison of costs for a wedding in your locale or aboard (aboard meaning outside of your country, FYI: Ghana is aboard).
To help ease the financial burden, many couples should opt to travel to a place where they can havee their dream wedding, have their honeymoon, and still have some money left over to start their new lives together. Hotels and Holiday Resorts offer great discounts for early and large group bookings. So you can speak with a travel agent to help with arrangements on special discount packages for your guests on airfares, transportation and hotel bookings too!
PS>> You don’t pay for your guests airfares, hotel accommodation or feedings. However, you both can decide on whom you both can afford to pay half if their travel expenses for.
4. You Are In Charge!
That’s right! You call the shots. Many formal/traditional weddings mean a lot for some couples, some may link them to the traditions and culture, some others want the experience to be different and unique, with a ceremony and location that reflect their individualism, and style.
LOCATION! LOCATION!! LOCATION!!!
Early selections of your dream wedding location saves you both time, money and unneceassary expenses while planning. There are many places on this beautiful world has to offer for your unique wedding, let’s start with the common and yet popular locations: Dubai (like Tuface and Anne), The Caribbean Islands, France (like Stephanie and Linus, to me whose wedding set a bar for Nigerian celebritity weddings. Tiwa Savage my eyes are waiting for yours), Italy, Spain, UK and US. For those who do not want to be too far from home, here are some African countries such as Ghana, Tanzania, Seyechelles, Mozambique, South Africa, Morocco, and The Gambia.
Then for those who want the Nigerian experience, there’s, Lagos (Lekki town after the New Lagos Free Trade Zone, Akodo La Campainge Tropicana, Whispering Psalms Badagary, Tarqwa Bay, any of the private beach houses on Ilaje), Ogun State (Abeokuta), Oyo (Ibadan), Ondo, Cross Rivers (Calabar, Tinapa, Obudu Hills), Akwa Ibom (Uyo, Eket), Delta State (Warri, Asaba), Edo (Benin), Rivers State (Port-Harcourt, Bonny Island) etc. You can ask a travel agent or the local tourist board for a state, or your wedding planner, for information, brochures listing ceremony sites, Hotels, Resorts or Sea Cruise-liners in various International countries and Nigerian States. Recently, governments have began working to ease restrictions and attract to-be-weds.If you’re not getting married at a resort, you can hire a stateside wedding planner who specializes in destination weddings, contact a wedding planner in the town you plan to wed, or start early and do it yourself. Either way, you won’t have to plan an elaborate reception. Best of all? You make the rules! Feel free to wear white bed sheets, a sundress, or that hot pink maxi dress you’ve haf you eye on, or you both can wear shorts (even a bikini!), or go barefoot, or you both can go nude! ROFL!! Just kidding. The simple truth is if you have dreamt it, then you can do it.
5. It’s Simply Perfect!
It is great for “been-there-done-that” couples who are older, renewal of vow, or getting married again, and choose a destination wedding. This is because DW’s are simple, quiet and private. Either the bride and/or groom have done the Naija o wan bé – up scale society wedding before, or they both just want something quieter, less expensive, and with hassle this time around, or they may also just want to be someplace anonymous, without the watchful eyes and whispers of the home crowd.
6. It’s a Once-in-a-Lifetime Vaycay
At a typical Nigerian wedding, both you and your groom are on the go, meeting, greeting, thanking whomever that person is, kneeling, prosrating, and non stop smiling, wondering when will this all end. However, for destination weddings you are on vacation time throughout. As expected, you will be required to arrive a few days early (2-3days early), to fill out all the important and necessary paperwork, so that by the time your wedding day arrives, you’ve had days of relaxing fun, and sight seeing with your groom, family, and friends.This may just be the opportunity to spend a no-rush, quality playtime with family, and far-flung friends.
PS>> Before you make up mind completely about having a Destination Wedding, you and your groom should sit and discuss it between yourselves. Write out all the pros and cons and weight it. Don’t involve a third party just yet, unless you are both certain of your choice.
Here is a to do list I got from an article:
1. Pick out a destination with your partner so you can start to make plans.
2. The Weather Factor. It is important to know what the weather would be like at your desired destination spot at the time you want to get married. For instance, you don’t want to be saying I do during a monsoon or rainy season.
3. Prepare a realistic budget. Make adequate research on prices for accommodation, food & beverages, travel, cakes, musicians, photographers and other services that you may need. Because you will be going out of your comfort zone.
4. Arrange travel plans. Negotiate a good travel package for your guests with a reputable travel agency. Do not forget to include all important information such as names of your guest, hotel plans. If possible drop one of you invites with the agency.
5. Travel Insurance. Having a good insurance is very important. A good insurance policy will cover you for injury, medical assistance and also the in case of loss of property. It gives you the needed peace of mind.
Click here for more information about the above to do list article.
What more can I say? You can consult with your wedding planner or a wedding planner who specializes in Destination Weddings. They would be able to help you in making the necessary enquiries for your needs.
SOURCES: Google, Pinterest, The Knot, Our Wedding Story Nigeria
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How are you all doing? Been a long minute. Lol! My technological challenges started up again hence my long absence. I am tackling each issue one at a time, please bear with me.
The title of this post may give you an insight into what you are about to read. Hence the no feature image at the top. I am sure some would be wondering what colour analysis am I about to embark on. Lol! Just keep reading and you will soon find out.
Who remembers Jessica Biel’s wedding dress? For those who may not know, she is Justin Timberlake’s wife. Yay! If you still don’t whom I’m speaking of Google it!
Anyway, when I saw a few photographs of the wedding online, I thought the colour of her wedding dress was a bit off, I assumed the lighting of my laptop was the reason for her dress peculiar colour. However, I later realised that that was the colour of her dress, frost pink!
I did investigations, and I found out that my favourite fashionista and my style inspirationist (lol! New word.) Sarah Jessica Parker(SJP), of “Sex and the City” , had done the same thing when she got married 1997 to Matthew Broderick. She wore a black wedding dress.
Jessica Biel’s reasons, “I wanted the dress to be very romantic and feminine and a shape that I very rarely wear. I have never been crazy about all-white wedding dresses, for me at least. [Giambattista Valli] had created that same fabric in a fuchsia-and-pink combination for a dress in a previous collection, and I asked him if he could create that same pattern in a white combination, and he suggested pink. It was a bit of a leap of faith at the time, but it turned out better than I could have ever imagined. [Putting it on], I felt like I had made the right choice. I felt elegant. And it moved like a dream.” – source from The Huff Post
Let me bring this topic to home soil. There was an article a while back in Bella Naija on a popular Nollywood actress, Ufoma Ejenobor. When she got married, she wore a metallic silver wedding dress made by Frank Osodi.
This was her reason, ” …Because everybody wears white! Everybody has their unique picture of what they want their wedding dress to be like. I’ve been obsessed with “The King & I” and there was this lovely dress Mrs Anna wore, it was gold and green and I thought that was the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. My dress was made by Frank Osodi. He didn’t think the mix of gold and green would go well so he asked me to choose any colour and he would mix it with white. Because I wanted to run away from white, I thought of a colour that would contrast with white so we came up with metallic silver.” – from Bella Naija. CLICK HERE for full interview.
As you know I am a huge fan of colours, and in my own opinion wearing a coloured wedding dress is a ver bold, brave and exciting thing to do. If you are the non traditional type and you have the liver to pulling it off, take a cue from Nike and “just do it”! It is different, it is unique, and it says a lot about your individuality. Afterall, it’s all about involving your personal style into your wedding and creating fun memories for your wedding.
Last year I did a post on “What’s your Style” (click here) where I quoted John Fairchild. He said, ” style is an expression of individualism mixed with charisma”.
BRIEF HISTORY ON WEDDING DRESSES
Wedding dresses have traditionally been based on the popular styles of the day. For example, in the 1920s, wedding dresses were typically short in the front with a longer train in the back and were worn with cloche-style wedding veils. This tendency to follow current fashions continued until the late 1940s, when it became popular to revert to long, full-skirted designs reminiscent of the Victorian era. Although there has always been a style that dominates the bridal market for a time, and then shifts with the changes in fashion, a growing number of modern brides are not choosing to follow these trends. This is due in large part to non-traditional and non-first-time weddings, and women who are marrying later in life.Today, Western wedding dresses are usually white though “wedding white” includes shades such as eggshell, ecru and ivory. Mary, Queen of Scots, wore a white wedding gown in 1559 when she married her first husband, Francis Dauphin of France because it was her favorite color, although white was then the color of mourning for French Queens. The first documented instance of a princess who wore a white wedding gown for a royal wedding ceremony is that of Philippa of England, who wore a tunic with a cloak in white silk bordered with grey squirrel and ermine in 1406. White did not become a popular option until 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg. Victoria wore a white gown for the event to incorporate some lace she prized. The official wedding portrait photograph was widely published, and many other brides opted for white in accordance with the Queen’s choice.
The tradition continues today in the form of a white wedding, though prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any color, black being especially popular in Scandinavia. Later, many people assumed that the color white was intended to symbolize virginity, though this was not the original intention. (It was the color blue that was connected to purity.) The white gown is in fact a symbolic Christening gown. It is a variation of the white surplice worn in the Western Catholic tradition by members of the clergy, church choirs and servers and the gowns worn by girls celebrating their first communion and at their confirmation and also by women making religious vows. Jews have gone to great lengths to follow these Western (Judeo-Christian) customs, whilst adhering to the laws of Tzniut. Today, the white dress is understood merely as the most traditional and popular choice for weddings.
Now, answer me this, do you see an average Nigerian parent agreeing to your choice in wedding dress colour? Lol! I can picture some parents I know ranting, screaming, sobbing and wailing in their native dialect, (please imagine this scenario in your mother tongue it’s funnier), “…this child wants to kill me oooh! You want to make me the laughing stock ehnn!?” , all in despair and aversion over your decision to wear black polka dotted dress for your wedding. ROTL!!
Before you embark on this BRAVE adventure for your wedding, you need to consider the pros and cons of this decision and a solid reason for doing so. This was a latter part of the article I read on Sarah Jessica Parker’s choice of wedding gown.
“SJP chose a non-traditional gown in a stark shade of black. Though her decision was a bid to escape unwanted media attention, the trendsetter now says it’s her biggest regret to date. In fact, if she and Broderick ever renew their wedding vows, Sarah says she’ll most definitely go for white. “I’d wear a proper wedding dress,” she said in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar. “Like I should have worn that day.” “
What to do …
1) you need to speak with a bridal image consultant. Reputable bridal houses have bridal consultants who can help you with choosing the proper tone or colour shade that will match your skin tone and style of your wedding. Not everybody looks good in fuchsia or red or deep purple.
If you are on a tight budget, your wedding planner (if you are using one), could serve as an image consultant or you could ask 3 friends, whom you trust their sense if style. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ask more than 3 people, if not you are heading for great confusion. Too many mouths, thoughts opinions, ideas, and I feel’s, create confusions and bad decisions.
2) the idea of a second dress for your wedding reception fits in here. If you have already discussed with your parents, and they hadn’t liked the idea of a coloured wedding dress, you can suggest the second change of dress. With this you can go all out with style and colour(s), if it is within your budget. If not….let’s go to step 3.
3) in your white wedding dress you could add a touch of your colour into your dress. It could the colour of your bolero jacket or your sash around your waist that flows down or just a fancy bridal studded belt etc e.g..
In the picture collage, the ombre wedding dress is my personal fav, however not my colour but its lovely. It was designed for Gwen Stefani in 2002 by John Galliano. So, there you have it! Either ways you will still be the trending bride no matter what colour you decide to wear. Here are some celebs who didnt wear white at their own weddings
SOURCES: The Huff Post, Pinterest, Elie Saab, Monique Lhuillier, Munaluchi. History from http://www.marryjim.com
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Hola mi amigos!
Happy Easter, Resurrection Sunday!!
The post I promised of the baby shower, didn’t work out as planned. What happened? I forgot to take pictures. 😀
However, today is Easter Sunday, and Church service was a Blast!!! In case you are wondering what church i attend, it is The Common Wealth of Zion Assembly, COZA.
So here is my small Easter message to everyone, dont get it twisted, I am in LOVE with Jesus, I am in LOVE with God and that makes me a full fledge Christian.
Victorious Empty Tomb
One victorious empty tomb,
One world changed forever.
God’s power is very great for us who believe… the same as the great strength God used to raise Christ from the dead and put Him at His right side in the heavenly world. God has put Christ over all. Ephesians 1:19-21 (NCV)
Jesus Christ has defeated the grave and made a way for us to have eternal life through Him.
We Celebrate Jesus!
He died that you and your family may live. The veil was torn so that you and your family are loosed from every and any bondage. He shed his blood that you and your family are free.
Praise God for sending His Son for us. For God is for us no one can be against us through Christ Jesus.
Praise the Lord for His Victory, and our salvation on this amazing Resurrection Sunday!
He is risen! He is alive!
Glory to God! Thank you Jesus!
Have a Glorious day!
Welcome to the 3rd Month of 2013! Yayy!
March 15 would make it exactly a year the inspiration of this blog was given to me. The 4th of April will make the month of my first post on “I ♥ 9ja o wan be”.
This post on Aso-Ebi has been on my mind long before I began this blog. However I needed to understand the topic properly before doing a post on it.
Even though, quite a number of Nigerian blogs have done posts on the topic of Aso-Ebi’s, I would like to try it from an angle of someone who has followed friends and clients to choose their Aso-Ebi, and also as a person who has had to pay outrageous amount for them.
First, what does Aso-Ebi mean?
The meaning of Aso Ebi in English explains itself. Literally, “Aso ebi” is the Yoruba term of saying, “the clothes for the family,” or “the family’s uniform clothes.” Aso ebi is the fabric/material design or style, chosen and worn by the celebrating members of a family, for any special occasion. It serves as identification attire for its participants and their invited guests.
In recent times, aso ebi can be bought by any interested person(s) that has been invited formally to attend the occasion. So much so, that even a non-invited person may buy the aso ebi of someone else’s event because they happen to like the fabric or the colours of the fabric(I’m guilty of doing that).
The phrase, “Aso ebi” originates from the Yoruba’s, as every Nigerian would have guessed. In the last few decades, the increase of inter-tribal marriages has a lot more non-Yoruba tribes “calling Aso Ebi” for any special occasion they are celebrating, using the exact same phrase.
I would conduct an investigation among my non-yoruba friends, and find out what “Aso-Ebi” is called in their language. Hehehe…
Is it necessary to buy, or not to buy?
That is the question most ladies ask themselves. Sometimes, or rather most times, the price for the Aso ebi, determines whether it would be bought or not. The colour and type of fabric would later help with the final decision in the purchase of the fabric.
Personally, I am of the opinion, if you do not want to “call aso ebi”, then DON’T do it! However, if you have been coerced, bullied, prodded and manipulated by persistent family and friends, you can go ahead and do so, BUT (and that’s a big “but”), try not to get too involved with the distribution process.
Words of Advice!!!
- When selecting your aso ebi fabric for friends, you need have the discernment for quality good fabrics (believe me, you’ll be amazed on the imitations of these fabrics in the markets), colour, style /design /patterns, and most importantly, its pocket friendliness. PS=> I didn’t say cheap stuff.
- Don’t go selecting French, Swiss, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or Togolese laces when you know that your average friend won’t be able to afford it.
- Creating a group on blackberry or whatsapp or Facebook with your 15 to 30 “close girlfriends,” to help you pick a fabric, will only cause you more confusions and stress. Yes I understand you would want SOME of your friends involved in your planning, but ever heard of “too many cooks spoil the soup?” I suggest you say that proverb in your native dialect, and it would sink in faster. Keep it small, you don’t need more than 2 people to guide you in making your selection.
- When opting for Ankara fabrics, choose Ankara fabrics that have bright colours that compliment or pick your colour(s). If you’d prefer to go to an Whole sale Outlet e.g. Da-Viva, Qualitex, Excellence, Bis-Aso etc find out about discount for large quantity purchasing. If you are worried about distribution, I found out that you could always talk to one of the shop assistants into helping you. At a small price of course.
The process of getting a suitable aso ebi of your choice, and its distribution to family and friends is heart achingly stressful. I suggest you appoint a close friend or a relative or ask your planner/ coordinator if they could help with it. Ask them o! Don’t en-force it on them as part of their job description. Like a bride tried to do to me. If it is not stated in their service contract to you, please ask. Don’t be a bully client.
This is the end of part 1, on Aso-Ebi.
Lol! Ok. I admit, this was just ranting. Loll! 😀