This is the second part of “Taming the Guest Size”. I am pretty sure some of you had a few laughs and a few gasps in part one of this post. So I am just going to dive right in.
I met a couple last year, whom just before they got married we got talking about the Nigerian Guest Size Factor. They both come from LARGE families who like to “PARR-TAI”. Of course, with large families like that theirs, they will always have crowds at any of their functions. I asked casually how they both intended on controlling their family crowd, they told me they had threatened both their parents that if the guest size went above 400 they would just not show up on the day! Go #Teambride & groom *Yimu*. ROTFL!! Is it Schweppes?
However, despite my scepticism, they meticulously had a guest list of all invited guests on stylishly numbered invitation cards, so that as you came to the reception with your invitation cards, your invites would be checked with its number and then you were allowed to go through. Of course, they had hired the help of well and able bodied “Giant Bouncers”. I felt like an ant beside those guys, lol! This couple meant business in “Taming the Guest Size,” o. Lol! #onpoint
Strictly by invite, invitations make things a lot easier in managing guest size control. Yet, I did meet an odd fellow earlier this year, who loathes the idea of “strictly by invitation” invites. He said if he ever got an invite that was strictly by invitation that he wouldn’t attended that event.
Why you ask. His reason is that, strictly by invite invitations are snobbish, stuck-up, and it looked down on people. He also believed that they were outright rude…, your facial expression is (or was) the same as mine, I mean, “What the…”
Now, this very same male individual that very same day, told me of his aunt’s funeral 3 years ago in Ondo state, and how he was so impressed with the turn out, it showed that his aunt, was a good woman and very popular. I asked what the guest size was, he replied saying about 2500 people. He said the food wasn’t enough and he remembers people coming up to him after the event complaining. I forgot to mention, he was saying all this with a chest full of pride. This funeral “owambé” created heavy traffic and caused a lot of unhappy resident’s peace and quiet for 2 days!
Did I mention that the family went broke after the “semi-carnival” occurred? ROTFL! Yep they did, he said so.
This raises a question, who is to blame when the invited guests seem to keep giving birth to more guests during an event, making crowd control difficult to manage?
No need to Google it, the answer is simple, The Event Planners are to blame! That right, we swallow the criticism, complaints, insults, and screams from the client’s for ruining their day, cause of the lack of crowd control. Yes, sometimes we planners can get over our heads with some jobs or client’s, nevertheless we still swallow it all despite everything. Let me give you an example via an experience as a guest.
A few weeks ago I attended my sister’s friend’s wedding. I arrived late, as I had intended, and I noticed my sister hustling with plates of food serving some guests. I walked up to her and asked what is going on? Where are the waiters? She told me the caterer didn’t bring enough waiters, thus her helping to serve. I asked what about the planner/coordinator, because I knew her friend had hired one. My sister pointed her out over a sea of gele’s at a food station. When I asked her how I could help, she said, “Could you ask the guests to stop arriving? This is more than 500 people she had expected, from the 300 guests she was told would arrive.” Oh dear.
Honestly, the stories and testimonies can go on forever! I am in the opinion that prospective clients should always keep their events planners/coordinators constantly informed of their decreasing or increasing guest sizes. It’s irresponsible of any client to cater and state to their events planner that they have invited 200 people, and then have a whopping guest size of 800 people !? C’mon…that’s unfair. It makes us events professionals look foolish and incompetent.
Tips to consider on Taming the Guest Size
This advice is for EVERYONE involved in the event, both parents, both families, and the intended couple to be:
1. Don’t invite the WHOLE office or neighbourhood. Inviting the whole neighbourhood or the office is not only seemingly desperate but also award, especially if you don’t really have a cordial speaking relationship with any of them.
2. Don not go inviting all 4,567 friends on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, BBM, Whatsapp, 2Go, Instagram, LinkedIn, or any other social network is a BIG NO. Ask yourself, how many times you have actually communicated with any of them outside of the social network before you invite them.
3. Induce an invitation scarcity! Make all your invites almost 65% less than your expected guests. Don’t be discouraged by having strictly by invitation invites. Just understand why you want them and be able to explain to those who don’t agree with the idea why you want them.
4. Rein in your parents! Yeah…this is a hard one. Most parents, both home and abroad, believe that since they are the ones footing the bill for the entire wedding, that have the right to invite the whole world. Sadly, they do. That right is theirs. However, there is a way around it. Sit both parents down and present a plan to them. When I was younger, when I had to ask my dad for money for anything, I had to write down what I wanted, and have acceptable prepared answers or reasons as to why I wanted those things. I believe every parent can be reasonable once you and your partner have presented them your vision of how you want your wedding should be, and long after the celebrations. Remember to compromise when and where you have to ooh! If they prove difficult, better get on your knees and plead with them fervently!
5. Elope! ROTFL! Just joking. However, consider having a destination wedding instead. Read my post on “Marrying Far Away”, it may just be perfect for you. A friend of mine in Ghana read that post and sent the link to his mum, and his fiance, telling them that they should both begin to adjust their minds to it. LOL!
Wow. This post turned out to be longer than I had hoped. Hehehe. So this is where I will end it for now, and touch on it later in the future. If you have had any experiences you’d like to share feel free to leave a comment or send an email with your stories to email@example.com.
Enjoy ♥ J!
“Once upon a time, set ontop of the hills of the Hobbits Shire far far away, was a wedding ceremony…”
Hola mi amigos!¿ 😀
How was your weekend? C’mon, i had you confused for a second. Lol! I will be putting up two posts. I had noticed a particular colour trend for almost 3 months and I finally decided to do a post on it. The colour is Mint Green. Yep, that is the trending colour for this summer. Remember the Pantone® colour for 2013 is Emerald Green, so we are still in line. However, I diagress. This week’s post is for my brides who are on tight and heavily guarded budget. Lol! I bring to you, (drum roll, and trumpets sound)…Destination Wedding!
Until recently, anytime I had heard someone mention destination wedding, my first thought was, the person most be seriously loaded. Biased thinking right? Se la vie. 😉
I have a friend who had mentioned to me a while ago that she wanted to have a destination wedding. I asked why, and she said to avoid the hassle of unknown guests and family members and most of all to cut costs. I laughed, however I am seeing her point. I read an article online from a Nigeria couple who had a destination wedding in the South of France (no it was not Stephanie Okereke and Linus Idahosa’s wedding), and it changed my point of view about DW’s. So, in this post, I am going to re-highlight the points and add my own reasoning logic for you to embrace the idea of DW’s.
Some of you may ask the large invisible white elephant question, isn’t it expensive? Well, here is answer I believe any professional planner would say to satisfy any sceptics, “…If well planned, it will end up being less expensive, because you will make plans for what you need and only those you have budgeted for…”. I can not stress this enough to both my clients and friends who complain about them being on a tight budget, CUT DOWN ON YOUR GUEST SIZE!
Luckily, this is one of the many advantages of DW’s, it helps with downsizing your guests, and both you and your groom can careful pick guests that are of significance nd importance. With this, you won’t have the usual “mo gbo mo branch” crowd that show up uninvited to your wedding, this includes unknown and uninvited family members, the village community counsel of elders/chieves, either parents church/nasfat group/club members, who all end up coming with their own “supporters club,” or the displacement of the bridal party and the couples friends/colleagues from their reserved seating (another blog post for another day, hehehe), and let’s not forget the usual yet embarrassing hulla-ba-loo for wedding souvenirs. Oi!
Advantages of a Destination Wedding
1. They’re Virtually Stress-Free. How?
Hotels, Resorts and Sea Cruise lines around the world normally have full-time wedding coordinators on staff, who are also familiar with that particular country’s marriage license requirements. If you’re not getting married at a resort, you can hire a wedding planner in that locale who specializes in destination weddings, or you could contact your own wedding planner to start early planning arrangements with your travel agent and the hotel’s in-house wedding planner.
2. Family Drama Denied!
All forms scene-stealing family drama will be avoided. This includes a very large get-together of extended families and various business associates. Predictably, each set of parents have their own ideas. One set would like the wedding to be held in a prominent part of the city or location of residence because most of their guests, or social circle are residents in the area. This would a great avenue for them to show off to their friends and business associates. On the other hand, the other set of parents may have problems with the expense of a high society, over elaborate, typical Nigerian wedding. Most of the time, the parents tend to forget that the event is, first and foremost, about the two people getting married! This usually occurs when a certain family seems more financially buoyant than the other then they want to take control and make all the decisions, paying no attention to what the couple desire for their wedding. With a destination wedding, you the couple are in charge and you set the rules to your desires in your own chosen terrority. A bride commented on DW’s saying “…it would be nice to have both parent’s anecdotes families in good rapport, but what’s the point if they fight and snigger over trivial things about the our wedding?” – from The Knot.
3. Pay Less, Stress Less for Fun!
“The affordability of a destination wedding has many couples speeding off to the airport faster than you can say ‘I do.’ For instance, a couple can fly to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, get married, and stay for a deluxe weeklong honeymoon for a few thousand dollars, including lodging, meals, drinks, and airfare.” – from The Knot.
PS>> I did a small calculation of the figures they give in the article and then i converted it to naira for you to understand it better. An example; a wedding of 150 guests wedding may (emphasis on the word MAY. I didn’t say it WILL, I said MAY) cost about
N 3.7m to which it can easily skyrocket to more than N 6.5m if your guest size increases — plus a few extra hundred thousands of Naira for a honeymoon. Do a comparison of costs for a wedding in your locale or aboard (aboard meaning outside of your country, FYI: Ghana is aboard).
To help ease the financial burden, many couples should opt to travel to a place where they can havee their dream wedding, have their honeymoon, and still have some money left over to start their new lives together. Hotels and Holiday Resorts offer great discounts for early and large group bookings. So you can speak with a travel agent to help with arrangements on special discount packages for your guests on airfares, transportation and hotel bookings too!
PS>> You don’t pay for your guests airfares, hotel accommodation or feedings. However, you both can decide on whom you both can afford to pay half if their travel expenses for.
4. You Are In Charge!
That’s right! You call the shots. Many formal/traditional weddings mean a lot for some couples, some may link them to the traditions and culture, some others want the experience to be different and unique, with a ceremony and location that reflect their individualism, and style.
LOCATION! LOCATION!! LOCATION!!!
Early selections of your dream wedding location saves you both time, money and unneceassary expenses while planning. There are many places on this beautiful world has to offer for your unique wedding, let’s start with the common and yet popular locations: Dubai (like Tuface and Anne), The Caribbean Islands, France (like Stephanie and Linus, to me whose wedding set a bar for Nigerian celebritity weddings. Tiwa Savage my eyes are waiting for yours), Italy, Spain, UK and US. For those who do not want to be too far from home, here are some African countries such as Ghana, Tanzania, Seyechelles, Mozambique, South Africa, Morocco, and The Gambia.
Then for those who want the Nigerian experience, there’s, Lagos (Lekki town after the New Lagos Free Trade Zone, Akodo La Campainge Tropicana, Whispering Psalms Badagary, Tarqwa Bay, any of the private beach houses on Ilaje), Ogun State (Abeokuta), Oyo (Ibadan), Ondo, Cross Rivers (Calabar, Tinapa, Obudu Hills), Akwa Ibom (Uyo, Eket), Delta State (Warri, Asaba), Edo (Benin), Rivers State (Port-Harcourt, Bonny Island) etc. You can ask a travel agent or the local tourist board for a state, or your wedding planner, for information, brochures listing ceremony sites, Hotels, Resorts or Sea Cruise-liners in various International countries and Nigerian States. Recently, governments have began working to ease restrictions and attract to-be-weds.If you’re not getting married at a resort, you can hire a stateside wedding planner who specializes in destination weddings, contact a wedding planner in the town you plan to wed, or start early and do it yourself. Either way, you won’t have to plan an elaborate reception. Best of all? You make the rules! Feel free to wear white bed sheets, a sundress, or that hot pink maxi dress you’ve haf you eye on, or you both can wear shorts (even a bikini!), or go barefoot, or you both can go nude! ROFL!! Just kidding. The simple truth is if you have dreamt it, then you can do it.
5. It’s Simply Perfect!
It is great for “been-there-done-that” couples who are older, renewal of vow, or getting married again, and choose a destination wedding. This is because DW’s are simple, quiet and private. Either the bride and/or groom have done the Naija o wan bé – up scale society wedding before, or they both just want something quieter, less expensive, and with hassle this time around, or they may also just want to be someplace anonymous, without the watchful eyes and whispers of the home crowd.
6. It’s a Once-in-a-Lifetime Vaycay
At a typical Nigerian wedding, both you and your groom are on the go, meeting, greeting, thanking whomever that person is, kneeling, prosrating, and non stop smiling, wondering when will this all end. However, for destination weddings you are on vacation time throughout. As expected, you will be required to arrive a few days early (2-3days early), to fill out all the important and necessary paperwork, so that by the time your wedding day arrives, you’ve had days of relaxing fun, and sight seeing with your groom, family, and friends.This may just be the opportunity to spend a no-rush, quality playtime with family, and far-flung friends.
PS>> Before you make up mind completely about having a Destination Wedding, you and your groom should sit and discuss it between yourselves. Write out all the pros and cons and weight it. Don’t involve a third party just yet, unless you are both certain of your choice.
Here is a to do list I got from an article:
1. Pick out a destination with your partner so you can start to make plans.
2. The Weather Factor. It is important to know what the weather would be like at your desired destination spot at the time you want to get married. For instance, you don’t want to be saying I do during a monsoon or rainy season.
3. Prepare a realistic budget. Make adequate research on prices for accommodation, food & beverages, travel, cakes, musicians, photographers and other services that you may need. Because you will be going out of your comfort zone.
4. Arrange travel plans. Negotiate a good travel package for your guests with a reputable travel agency. Do not forget to include all important information such as names of your guest, hotel plans. If possible drop one of you invites with the agency.
5. Travel Insurance. Having a good insurance is very important. A good insurance policy will cover you for injury, medical assistance and also the in case of loss of property. It gives you the needed peace of mind.
Click here for more information about the above to do list article.
What more can I say? You can consult with your wedding planner or a wedding planner who specializes in Destination Weddings. They would be able to help you in making the necessary enquiries for your needs.
SOURCES: Google, Pinterest, The Knot, Our Wedding Story Nigeria
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Welcome to the 3rd Month of 2013! Yayy!
March 15 would make it exactly a year the inspiration of this blog was given to me. The 4th of April will make the month of my first post on “I ♥ 9ja o wan be”.
This post on Aso-Ebi has been on my mind long before I began this blog. However I needed to understand the topic properly before doing a post on it.
Even though, quite a number of Nigerian blogs have done posts on the topic of Aso-Ebi’s, I would like to try it from an angle of someone who has followed friends and clients to choose their Aso-Ebi, and also as a person who has had to pay outrageous amount for them.
First, what does Aso-Ebi mean?
The meaning of Aso Ebi in English explains itself. Literally, “Aso ebi” is the Yoruba term of saying, “the clothes for the family,” or “the family’s uniform clothes.” Aso ebi is the fabric/material design or style, chosen and worn by the celebrating members of a family, for any special occasion. It serves as identification attire for its participants and their invited guests.
In recent times, aso ebi can be bought by any interested person(s) that has been invited formally to attend the occasion. So much so, that even a non-invited person may buy the aso ebi of someone else’s event because they happen to like the fabric or the colours of the fabric(I’m guilty of doing that).
The phrase, “Aso ebi” originates from the Yoruba’s, as every Nigerian would have guessed. In the last few decades, the increase of inter-tribal marriages has a lot more non-Yoruba tribes “calling Aso Ebi” for any special occasion they are celebrating, using the exact same phrase.
I would conduct an investigation among my non-yoruba friends, and find out what “Aso-Ebi” is called in their language. Hehehe…
Is it necessary to buy, or not to buy?
That is the question most ladies ask themselves. Sometimes, or rather most times, the price for the Aso ebi, determines whether it would be bought or not. The colour and type of fabric would later help with the final decision in the purchase of the fabric.
Personally, I am of the opinion, if you do not want to “call aso ebi”, then DON’T do it! However, if you have been coerced, bullied, prodded and manipulated by persistent family and friends, you can go ahead and do so, BUT (and that’s a big “but”), try not to get too involved with the distribution process.
Words of Advice!!!
- When selecting your aso ebi fabric for friends, you need have the discernment for quality good fabrics (believe me, you’ll be amazed on the imitations of these fabrics in the markets), colour, style /design /patterns, and most importantly, its pocket friendliness. PS=> I didn’t say cheap stuff.
- Don’t go selecting French, Swiss, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or Togolese laces when you know that your average friend won’t be able to afford it.
- Creating a group on blackberry or whatsapp or Facebook with your 15 to 30 “close girlfriends,” to help you pick a fabric, will only cause you more confusions and stress. Yes I understand you would want SOME of your friends involved in your planning, but ever heard of “too many cooks spoil the soup?” I suggest you say that proverb in your native dialect, and it would sink in faster. Keep it small, you don’t need more than 2 people to guide you in making your selection.
- When opting for Ankara fabrics, choose Ankara fabrics that have bright colours that compliment or pick your colour(s). If you’d prefer to go to an Whole sale Outlet e.g. Da-Viva, Qualitex, Excellence, Bis-Aso etc find out about discount for large quantity purchasing. If you are worried about distribution, I found out that you could always talk to one of the shop assistants into helping you. At a small price of course.
The process of getting a suitable aso ebi of your choice, and its distribution to family and friends is heart achingly stressful. I suggest you appoint a close friend or a relative or ask your planner/ coordinator if they could help with it. Ask them o! Don’t en-force it on them as part of their job description. Like a bride tried to do to me. If it is not stated in their service contract to you, please ask. Don’t be a bully client.
This is the end of part 1, on Aso-Ebi.
Lol! Ok. I admit, this was just ranting. Loll! 😀
These rain flashes from the past week have been a blessing. I like it. Lol! Though, it seems like we’re in the rainy season, but not. Confusing, isn’t it?
By the way Valentine’s Day is about two weeks and a few days away. Any plans for that day, or is it going to be like any other day?
In a next few posts I’m going to talk about adding a little “Pattern” into your décor designs, ideas or inspirations for your next event. Are there any questions in regards to the “Sweet Turquoise Peach” post? Remember, you can always send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org or you can follow me on my Twitter account @dewsofkeziah or like my Facebook page www.facebook.com/DewsOfKeziahEvents and drop a comment.
In this post, I’m going to use one of the Pantone Spring 2013 colours. Yep! There will be no colour combos. However, I would talk about which colour compliments it and that makes it pop! And I would also be open to any comments or suggestions for colours that could or would be a good complimenting combo with it. This way, you can get your colour expert swagger on.
The post topic is a give-away to which colour I’d be using. “Monaco Blues”, sounds like a movie title, Lol!
Last year’s Pantone Fashion Colour Report for 2012 had a blue shade in it called Sodaite Blue, which has almost the same hue as the Monaco Blue in the Pantone Fashion Colour Report for 2013 as shown in the palette slide picture below.
I know, you can ALMOST not see the difference. I didn’t really notice their differences until I had to use Pantone colour palette numbers, CMYK and RGB to recreate the colours using my CorelDraw® software.
Getting to Know Blue and Its Hues
Remember Blue is a part of the 3 families in the Primary Colour Kingdom the families of Blue, Red, and Yellow (which I have mentioned as in past posts as a fearful lover to Red and Yellow, Lol!). In general, the colour Blue is said to be calming, committed, communicative, cooling, dependable, expansive sedate, serene and trustworthy. However, electric or brilliant neon blues, turn out to be an engaging colour that becomes more sensational, dynamic and exhilarative!
Using Monaco Blue for your event would be really cool. You can easily refer to Monaco Blue as Navy Blue, and to Sodaite Blue as Mid-Night Blue, by using these simple vocabularies to describe it to anyone, for better understanding. The Monaco Blue can be perfect as a single colour for any event. It gives an ambience of serenity, elegance, royalty, calming, and enriching depth into your décor. However, be warned, the colour Blue can be an expansive overwhelming colour, if not directed properly.
Where and How to Use Monaco Blue
This colour would be great for events taking place outdoors, also wonderful for beach weddings, ceremonies or corporate events.
“Anchoring Monaco Blue is a classic shade that offers both stability and depth to the entire palette. Combine Monaco Blue with Poppy Red and Linen, or Monaco Blue and Emerald for a fresh collegiate look.” Pantone® fashion colour report 2013.
You see the above quote right there, nails it. The pictures below are to give you an idea of how Monaco Blue with Poppy Red and Linen Nude, Monaco Blue with African Violet and Nectarine, Monaco Blue and Dusk Blue, Monaco Blue and Emerald Green or Monaco Blue with Lemon Zest and Tender Shoot colours could look like when combined. These are all colours of the Pantone® fashion colour report 2013. Click on the links to open new tabs.
If you are a Tommy Hilfiger nut or you have a thing for boats ships or the nautical world, the first Monaco Blue combo of Poopy Red and Linen Nude should appeal to you. These colour combinations can generally give you an inkling insight into using Monaco Blue on how to combine it.
So there you have it, Monaco Blue. Enjoy!
- Colour theory
This 2013 I will be adding some widgets to the blog as the year goes on, especially one called “I’m part of post a week 2013”. This will prompt me to put up posts once a week. So keeping my fingers crossed I intend to follow it through.
Also as I had announced last year, that some changes will be made to the blog. I have decided NOT to change the name of this blog. Lol! I will tell you about it some other time. However, the blog is being worked on behind the scenes by my meek self and my tech geeks to make this blog service you and I better. I would update you from time to time as things progress.
So how has the New Year been so far? With the weird flashes of rains that has been occurring, aka Global Warming. Hehehe!
In this post we are doing colour combos of Turquoise Blue and Peach, with highlights of gold. Thus the post topic: “Sweet Turquoise Peach”. Another common name for all shades of Turquoises is “Aqua” or Cyan for the lighter shades. It wasn’t until I began this blog that I found out that there were 2 types of Turquoises. There’s Turquoise Blue and Turquoise Green. They both pretty much explain their hues and intensity by their names. The palettes below show what I am trying to say.
From the colour palettes I’m sure you get the picture.
The chosen colour combos of Turquoise Blue, Peach and a touch of Gold are actual colours for a client’s weddings in April. Though they are not within the Pantone Colours for 2013 L, I will still talk about the lovely colour combination anyway.
These colours are sweet! And they can be used at any season of the year. Though they are spring/summer colours and are usually recommended for beach, tropical or nautical weddings, it doesn’t matter! If you love a certain colour for your type of event, use it! No matter the season, weather, or region.
Peach is from the family of Orange, which is birthed by the combination of Red and Yellow. In the colour palette of Tangerine Tango post, you’ll also be able to identify the colour Peach in its hues.
The inspiration board I made below should be able to give you ideas of how the turquoise blue, peach and gold can be implemented into your event(s).
Picking the Colour Flow for Your Décor
You could have the overall background to be just one colour with accents of the other colours to bring all the colours together.
For example; in the picture below, it shows the overall décor in Turquoise, with the floral centrepieces, and the couple gazebo, adorned with Peach and Pink flowers. The roof/ceiling of the tent/marquee has Gold stars scattered all over, and as an added advantage, the incandescent chandeliers or warm white, is giving off a golden glow consequently highlighting the gold stars.
Also, you could use Gold as the main colour as the overall décor design. Then your Turquoise Blue and Peach become added touches to the golden décor theme. Like the Marie Antoinette Gold themed décor picture from Wedluxe.com below.
In these pictures you can tell that the Wedding Style is Formal with a Modern twist. The tall French windows, the cutlery, the deep set gold chiavari chairs, the menu card design and the cute peachy pinky wedding favours with “Merci” written on them in elegant calligraphy. Hmm…breath taking, isn’t it. I’m sure it was.
Another way to give a flow to your décor colours is by using Peach as the main colours and using turquoise and gold as the décor centerpieces or table settings like in the Marie Antoinette in Peach reverse. Lol!
So there you go, Turquoise/ Aqua Blue with Peach and a touch of Gold!
♥ ‘Jumoke Abudu!